Friday, August 8, 2008

To My Grandmother, on her 96th Birthday

"Persistence is what has gotten us this far. That, and heaps upon heaps of determination. We had nothing handed to us, actually, we felt unwanted at times; looked at with disdain, and called several names. But not a one of us, your Grandfather in particular, who had to learn a new language, kept his head down and pushed forward. And that's what's in all of his grandchildren. Determination - persistent determination." Excerpt from "Her Kitchen Table - my conversations with Laura Petruzzelli"

On August 3, 2008, I raced the Mideast Regional Du Championships, against a pretty rock solid field. I was not peaking, I was not on fresh legs, having raced 2 weeks prior, and snagging a big win in Michigan at Clark's Lake, where heat and 90% humidity ruled the day, (neither of which are my friend), and got the AG win I have been trying to get for the last 4 years. It was made even sweeter with my 3rd place OA, and the fact that I won my AG, 35-39, on my first try.

However, on this same day, my grandmother Laura, turned 96. That's right, she's 96. Completely mentally clear, gets around just fine. She has been a guest at my place for UFC Fight Night Parties, and is never one to miss a good time. So, after accepting my award on this past Sunday, I jumped in my truck to get to her birthday party, and to give her a gift that I knew she would like - my race number, with a note written on it from me.

Some might think, " you gave your grandmother a race bib? A sweaty, dirty race bib? You couldn't pony up for something better?" Actually, I could, but, as she has told all of us, at 96, she doesn't need much. And to be honest, she doesn't. She has her home, her family, her health, and lots of love. Material things were never a big deal to her - its what comes from the heart that she treasures most.

On Sunday, really the whole weekend, I thought much about her, and my grandfather, whom I am named after, and everything they went through, and what she continued to go through, every day, to keep our family together. For a lot of us, doubt can creep in pretty easily before a race; you may not think the course suits you, the weather isn't what you like, the field is tough, etc. I know a let some of these thoughts enter my mind, and I know, its wrong. But it happens, and at a race I have had a huge issue with for the last 4 years, the negative thoughts were swirling all week. But, I remembered my grandmother, not just who she is today, but what she stands for, for our whole family. She is the rock, the stalwart, and living proof age is only a number.

When the race started it was hot, and humid, and racing on roads covered with 6 feet of corn on either side, I knew it wasn't going to change. But, I kept thinking about her words of encouragement in my life, her letters to me at college, and after, encouraging me, when times were at the darkest for me. Her words rang even louder, when I threw up, twice, on the bike course. I didn't stop riding, I barely even slowed down, knowing she wouldn't stop either. And when I got to the second run, feeling dizzy and dehydrated, with 10K to go, I did as my grandfather did - put my head down and pushed forward. I know at those moments he was with me, watching from above, and back home, my grandmother knew in her heart, that I had it within me to suffer, greater than the others, and that would carry the day. And, she was, as she usually is, right. I crossed the line, and touched my heart twice, once for grandpa, and once for her. My grandfather's spirit, and my grandmother's words raced with me Sunday, and I couldn't have done it without them.

I know I talk about my family, and we laugh, at length, how we have some really funny times, superstitions, and quirks, all stemming from "The Old Country", but, I wouldn't be who I am without them. So, dedicating the race to my grandmother was not only the least I could do, but it was the most memorable gift I could give her - its one we can share.

Thanks again to all my sponsors, friends, and especially to my coach, Jen, who continues to have faith that I will do the right thing at races, even if I can't figure out my hydration. But, hey, it doesn't hurt to hope, right Jen?